my head hurts like hell
but i duno if it's due to the aircon or due to my fever
yet i dunwan to rely on consuming too many panadol
i am so sleepy and tired
i feel my brain freezing up
there is like this huge dull ache inside
i wish this week will end quickly, like now
can't take it anymore
yesterday night was bad
was feeling cold and wrapped myself in my blankie
i had a nightmare that made me very stressed
i can't rmb what it was about already
woke up being feverish and hot all over
like really scorching hot
search frantically for 2 tablets of panadol
then swallowed it and flung myself back into bed
and prayed very hard tt i wun be sick
cox i wan go for the bowling outing this evening
this morning woke up fine
but started shivering very badly when in the meeting room
even with my blazer on, trying not to let the EY auditors tink i am some weirdo
but i kept shaking, i could not even hold my cup properly when i went to the pantry to fill water
kept drinking hot water
till i could not take it, finally went over to find colleagues for panadol
thank goodness they had some
they told the rest of the training grp
and v touched when i went to find them during lunchtime, they all asked if i was alright
anw today is jeanie's bdae
sad that cannot join for the bdae cake cutting session
cox had to rush back to open the door for the EY ppl
sianz this whole wk alot of probs cox of them
keep calling IT dept for help
cox their laptops alws got probs
anw today is pay day too!!
yays!
gonna treat parents, siblings and spouses as well as grandma n uncle for dinner on sat!
crabs crabs here we come!
:)
i almost forgot that all our bdaes are coming!!
suez first, then rj, then mine!!
so exciting!
still abit sad that i am not taking leave on my bdae
cox daddy say like not much point
since most ppl are either at work or sch
though i tink prob wun be expecting special too
oh wells it'll be just another day i suppose
i duno when to clear my leave
i wan to go overseas, but no one seems to be planning any trip
sighz
i am going mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i shld not have gone to fb
since it's wrong for me to hate anyone
i hate myself then
i guess
i never knew you
i tink i need some more time
i am glad u are doing far better in moving on than i am
that will be the last time i cry
it was partly due to the song below
maybe my anger got over me
i ought to stop looking at the irritating pics, they make me so irritated
my parents tink i am dumb, to get angry over a gal that i dun like
when it doesn't involve me at all
but it really frustrates me wat
yest's driving lesson was bad
i almost knocked into the cyclists
and i striked some kerbs when parking
sighz i never did that before
it must be due to the lack of practice, i haven drove for 1 month alr
abit worried for my driving test
have to watch over the EY auditors this whole week
cox they are coming over to review our audit working papers
am bored to death
have to OT with them somemore cox i am holding the key to the room
so sianz
一想还是痛...
少了一個人 S.H.E
朋友聚会吵闹的快乐 在她们离开以后变稀薄
走路回家 回像山洞的窝 突然渴望有人 能来接我
泡著热水在浴室赖著 思念却也被滚烫冒烟了
最后的简讯 看到能背了 多久没有再联络 一想还是痛
少了一个人宠爱我
朋友的爱 成分就是不同
最难过 是笑著面对被羡慕自由
练很久的成熟 也快遮掩不住 寂寞
妈妈在电话裏挂念我 上次欲言又止她还记得
喜欢装没事 其实最累了 但我清楚很多事 哭了也没用
少了一个人拥抱我
那种拥抱 能够忘了所有
两个人 就算下雪后赤脚逆著风
也不觉得冰冻 还笑得比阳光 炽热
少了一个人懂得我
能够体会 我倔强又脆弱
不记仇 温柔原谅我情绪太波动
用泪光舍不得 融化我累积的 寂寞
很固执 无条件爱我从来没变过
在大吵的时候 会抱著我 沉默 不动
i know i should stop looking back
but i can't help it
i didn't know it would be so hard to just walk away
it doesn't feel like so many months have passed by
it seems like just yesterday i said no more
somehow it hurts more now than it did initially
which is totally unexpected
but i read this article which comforts me alot
and strengthen my faith further
Being single is an important time to prepare us for marriage. It can also be a time to experience a closer communion with God. As we seek God to cleanse us of the world and help us become the kind of wife or husband that would bless someone, we will soon find that we are not lonely. First, the Lord would begin using us to bless others; then we will find we are content in Him. Eventually, in God's plan and timing, He will bless us with a wonderful mate so that both lives can be a witness for Him. We believe if a marriage cannot glorify the Lord, then it would be better to remain alone. There are worse things than being alone. One of these is to be out of God's will by compromising and marrying someone who does not feel the same way we do about the Lord.
Marriage, in a Christian's life, should be based on a decision directed by the Holy Spirit. A Christian's love for another is a commitment. Of course, the Lord will supply the emotions for the mate He sends, but that should not be the criterion for making the decision to marry. The Lord should be sought, and whatever He speaks to us we should do. He knows the future and what is best for us. If we trust Him He will not fail us in this or any other important area. Women or men who allow emotions to rule them will never be victorious Christians. Emotions should always follow, never lead.
The Lord wants to bless marriage unions and see His plans fulfilled in both mates' lives. What a glorious plan He had from the beginning for both male and female. We can trust Him in this important decision. If we will totally commit to do His will we will never be disappointed in the one He sends into our lives.
i am sucha bore nowadays
i hardly want to go out
:(
but i really want to be asked out!!
just that wenever anyone ask me out, i feel very lazy
tsk tsk
daddy says i will never meet anyone new if i go on like this
and def wun get married
i am really freaking out abt not getting married ever!
i dunno why
but sudd i dunwan to spend this life alone
anw i wan to declare that i am loving my goodpark hotel durian mooncakes!
:)
oh we are having deloitte dnd on 12th nov at marina bay sands!
EGGCITED!
happy 1 month!!
hahas today marks the 1st month we are together in deloitte!
my email inbox was filled with emails by the orientation grp peeps
cox everyone was wishing each other happy 1st month hahs
glad we are still quite close till now
at least whoever that is in office will all try to meet for lunch everyday
hopefully it will last!
today was busy busy busy!!!
totally spent most of my time shuttling btw my AM's desk, typing room, my table and printer
hardly sat down much
until now, i dun feel like i learnt much
am still doing pretty simple tasks of typing, printing, filing and updating stuff
i feel really thankful that i am not alone in the company
can't imagine working w/o my colleagues
they are really helpful and a fun bunch of ppl
in the past, i used to wonder why the seniors always dun come back to hall to visit us
now i really understand
hall seems too far away
it's so tiring to travel back and forth
especially when there are lesser and lesser familiar faces
but i do miss muffins loads
i wish i have the strength to meet them more often
sighz
anw yest's muffins outing was quite fun
watching suez feed her addiction of kiapping toys
yet it brings back some memories too
i feel like a familiar stranger to u at times
so weird
i am too selfish ba
needing my space to grow up and adapt to the working world
yet kinda want ya to still remain the same
maybe that way, the memory will be always beautiful
i was hurt by the way u try to get back at me
i can never defend myself, no matter what reasons i use, it will sound riduculous
everyone who knows that we ended will all point their fingers at me unanimously and decide that i am the one who is to be blamed cox to them, i ended it without reason
sometimes i tink not going together to the concert was the last straw
it was when i got so angry, i could no longer think straight
sometimes i really duno what is the reason
afterall no one will treat me better than u do
but i will let my head lead over my heart
所以逞强的 远远看着你
i do not have any regrets
but it is just not very easy to let go of someone who you know loves u and u know u will live happily with
somehow life feels lonely
everyday is just transiting between work and home
i duno what i am doing all this for
please ignore what i say above
i duno what i am talking abt
but nvm, it's just a record for me to read when i look back in the future
有时侯我真的好累
好想有个人陪我
好好的爱着我
this week just started on actual engagement work
actually alot of sai gang also
endless work to do
but then i am still learning
actually i really tink i am a workaholic
i am the kind that get an assignment but must hurry to finish it
otherwise i will feel super unsatisfied de
i hardly move from my seat till i am really tired that i cant take it anymore
then i will go for a toilet break or water break
the other ppl in the company are like not very sociable
they wun make any initiative to talk to us
sighz
kinda sian
cox it's pretty clique-ish
like the same rank ppl all stick tog
am having a test on 28th sept!
and to think i thot i am all done and over with any sort of tests
sighz
it's so difficult!!
we are tested on securities & futures act + financial advisors act
:(
no idea what they are abt and what we are learning for
need to pass with a grade of at least 70% somemore
otherwise will have a bad record n the results forwarded to the partners :(
scary!
and it's held after work
sianz
boohoo
need to get more clothes!!!
yest we watched cats n dogs cox deloitte gave out free tix (cox no one bought them at the discounted rates hahas)
hahs we were really kaisu
we grabbed like 10 over tix for our colleagues who were in the other audit grps
cox we happened to have training near the pantry where they were giving out tix
today we watched resident evil
cox my frens who were yog volunteers were given a pair of tix each with free popsie cornies n coke so i was invited along too!
have to admit that i was scared during the show!
hid behind my scarf
the sound effects were loud
i felt as if i watching some ghost movie
lots of suspense n sudden scares
so the past 2 days were like movie marathons
though both movies din really appeal to me much
but oh wells they're free! :)
went running yest too!
after eons of slacking at home and procastinating that i want to exercise
ran for like 20 mins in amk park n gave up
walked ard and saw squrriels!
so ke ai!
:)
they made my day!
today my mood was pretty good the whole day!
except for the fact that i was late in the morning for work
received news from rina that she was asked to ask me if i would pray abt serving in young adults committee for next year
it's like a prayer come true!
had been praying abt serving in church for quite a while
although nth is confirmed for the time being,
i feel super happy that i am given an opportunity to serve in church
not sure if will be able to commit
but i will see how things goes from here
i haven agreed yet and kinda afraid that the offer may be retracted k
hahas i know i am worrying again
anw today's daily bread speaks abt seeing god's hand
I know that God's hand is in everything,
therefore i can leave everything in God's hands :)
and i believe he is guiding me in the way he wans me to take
in his own time and in his own mysterious ways
tml is the last day that my training grp will be together
until we go our separate ways to our own dept
sadded
tired
really am
suddenly my wkend seems more busy than my weekdays are
sat 3pm to 6pm in church
sun 830am to 4pm in church
cox there was song practice for YP gospel meeting on 19th sept
got pulled in to help out
oh gosh finally can come home to relax at home
i had a dream abt u
and in that dream we were back tog again
sometimes i wonder if i will look back few years down the road
and regret the decision i made back then
but then deep inside me there is always this nagging that says that if i never let u go
somehow one of us will live to regret it someday in the future
when we find each other giving in to each other too much
i have found my stand and i will not relent
because i simply can't force u to believe in wat i believe in
i have not exactly found my place in church
but i know i am alot closer to God than i was before
feeding myself with more and more spiritual knowledge makes me secure in his embrace
i know He will help me stay strong in my own Thessalonica at work
despite all the worldly influences i might face, i will still stay rooted in my faith
today ends the first 2 weeks in Deloitte!
am still very happy in my new found company
maybe cox now is still the honeymoon period
though i get stressed during the training esp since i get lost
i alr forgot most of my accounting stuff
so when the trainers ask like what documents we need to get from client, what alternative procedures etc, i go "huh?"
anw my grpmates are very zai, so we are alwys the grp that is getting alot of points
hopefully when training ends on the coming tues, we will emerge first and win the reward!
i tink when i really start on my jobs, i will die cox i am still so blur on what to do and i will be alone without them to help me!
:(
went out yest with the my entire training grp
23 of us in total except for the 3 who could not go
it was a sight
imagine 23 ppl eating tog at manhattan fish mkt
the manager even came out to welcome us
hahas
:)
though when he found out which company we were from, i could tell he really had no idea what company it was
hahas
afterwhich we headed to players bar & lounge
which was like a minds cafe with alcoholic drinks
i shared a bottle of wine with a few gals
it was def nicer than beer
aft tt experience with muffins, tink i ain't gonna touch beer for quite a while
anw saw quite of the ppl getting red in the face aft their drinks
guess we are all lousy drinkers
it was like FOC all over agn
forfeit for indian poker was 7 wonders for 2 losers or 10 wonders for 3 losers
forfeit for uno stacko was a snapping of the fingers on the ears
am not totally close to everyone yet
but they are really nice and easy-going
and fun-loving peeps
in fact, so far i tink it's a wrong notion that auditors are boring ppl
cox the ppl we meet in deloitte so far are really quite helpful n friendly
i love amoy food centre!
cheap cheap and good good!
mummy n daddy brought me to buy mooncakes at raffles town club today aft work
we do that every year during the mooncake season
never get sick of it
i love snowskin mooncakes
we just got a box of chocolate champagne mooncakes n another box of traditional mooncakes!
anw quite alot of hotels are colloborating with deloitte
to come to our office pantry over the next few weeks for sampling sessions
and giving us 20% discounts!
woohoo!
like goodwood park hotel, raffles hotel, marriot hotel etc
so excited!
anw i am so gonna get the D24 mooncakes from goodwood!
heard it's damn nice!
yums!
anw just realised it's really a small world
apparently quite a few know abt her stuff
interesting....
still cant get used to the status of a working adult
sometimes i look at my own reflection
and wondered if what other working adults would tink of me
would i look too immature n childish?
i can't really imagine myself working for the next few decades
something in me keeps thinking that this working experience is like temporal
feels more like an internship
maybe feeling this way will keep my spirits up
makes me feel that everyday is a whole new experience?
in any case, i wish i am smarter
that way i will be able to absorb and rmb everyth i need to know
i feel so dumb
If I turn back time...
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