SoLiLoQuy

Sunday, May 22, 2011

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just watched kangxi
they say giving a watch as a gift = 等待
never knew that
interesting
hahahs
and the shape determines its meaning too
if it is a square face, it means to 守候
cool!

anw went to ma maison with suez n joycie today!
hahas we revived our childhood days by playing the arcade games within the whimsy arcade at BHG!
:)
really fun!
we even won enuff tix to exchange for a pencil each
hahas

and then was my cousin's baby's shower party
had a great time even though i was abit reluctant to go at first
oh wells

wishing upon a star at...|12:44 AM|

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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

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blame it on my curious nature
i alwys want to know what happened in the past
yet i can't prevent the little green monster from creeping in
i dont want u to noe what i feel inside
so i try not to let it show it in my eyes and nt telling u wat i feel
and end up feeling like i ain't being honest enuff
there is no use comparing cox everyone is different afterall

there is nth that is ever gona bring the guilt i haf towards u away
everytime i tink of what i have done for u
i nv ever feel that it is enuff
u haf done anyth against me
yet i haf let u down

basking in the happiness now
isit sufficient for me?

wishing upon a star at...|3:52 PM|

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Monday, May 16, 2011

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am really glad to haf taken this long break!
really needed it
fri till tues
5 whole days!
woohoo
hahas
worked myself to death the last 4 months or so
without giving myself any leeway
it's time to let myself loose
and jus not worry abt work for once
i know that work will still pile up
and when i return, i will have the mountain to deal with
but heck it
for now, i just to relax and enjoy myself

mummy says i shld cancel my leave for mon
since i have no special plans
but i jus dunwan
i jus want tt day to rest
even if i mite not go out
i jus wan to not work
in any case am gona meet tirza and selene for lunch!
:)

sometimes i wish i am a student agn....
miss those days where i can do whatever i want
and not worry about my responsibilities

guess wat i did on my friday
i spent the day in the library
holed up in a corner reading
hahas
and borrowed a tons of books home
old habits nv died
i still insisted on bringing my book to the nearby KFC to haf my fav shrooms burger meal with cheese fries
i just need these kind of creature habits to make me feel sane agn
to find that rest and peace within me agn

did some errands too
bought some facial products, things that i keep procastinating about and nv got down to doing
hmmm went also to swim
sth i haven done for a long time
and for tt day
i am really happy
doing things by myself
being by myself
and just doing things i like

the last wk was horrid
guess i was jus close to breaking point
nv really gave myself a break
kept on pushing myself to the brink
demanded myself to be the best i cld be
and all the emotional turmoil also took its toil on me

so now i just to rest during this break
do things i like
then i will be refreshed once more
to go back to work agn on wed
wish me luck ok?

today i found rest in the lord too
everytime i go to church
i am reminded of his love
and it never fails to touch me how he can love so much

i am rather fortunate rite
having a god so great to love me, a person so small and insignificant
having a family who loves me, despite my horrid tempers
as well as people ard me who care for me in their own ways
ought to stop feeling sorry for myself
and pull myself tog again
jus give me some time kk
i will be alright in a while
just prob abit burnt out recently
overwhelmed by work, emotions everything
jus prob sick of life for a while

but i will be alright
as i have alws been

help me to learn to have the patience to be patient
like how "the daily bread" aptly reminded me
to keep anticipating, to keep hoping and to keep waiting upon the lord
for he works in his own ways and in his own time...

i ought to stop doubting
but i can't allow myself
i ought to run
but i can't bring myself away

wishing upon a star at...|12:21 AM|

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Saturday, May 14, 2011

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i have 2 voices in my head
one tells me i am dumb
the other tells me that i ought to just rest and slow down
can i trust ur words and believe that u will come back for me?
or should i move on and invest in this no more?

u may say that i only want to rush into things because i am impulsive
but have u realised that progress spells sincerity and how much u value this
i need to know that i am worth it
i need to know that i matter
enough for you to want to make it work out

to u, u may tink that u dunwan to make an empty promise
but have u considered what i need
the security to know that you have confidence in us?
simply to know that you are doing your part to settle ur issues
instead of buying time to think about what you want

i duno when hearing "i just want you to be happy" can be a pain
bcox my happiness will not be determined on what you want for me
but what i want for myself

if you care too much about her to let her know
then maybe you do not care enough for me
and obviously i don't think i matter as much

i do not want history to repeat itself
bcox as much as u are afraid of getting hurt agn
i too have my own fears to cope with

You're like the sand in the hourglass, quickly slipping away, unable to grasp

and this jus reminds me of you
of how u made that promise to me that day
and how i trusted in the person who was confident enough

wishing upon a star at...|1:14 PM|

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Thursday, May 12, 2011

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emoooo to the max
this week is a bad wkk
super irritated with going to work
am dragging myself everyday
today got assigned to go tuas
damn sian
nv thot this wld ever happen to me
felt like shit seriously
i hate being in sucha ulu place
sighhz
bad mood

wishing upon a star at...|11:26 PM|

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

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so scary that everyone can find out so soon
everything is still speculation
but they are able to tease and guess bits and pieces of it
i guess it's cox we sux at keeping secrets
anw hoping that everyth will be low profile for now
since nth is confirmed

needing to think ahead can be daunting
but it also gives me the assurance that you are concerned about the future
and not just going with the flow and making the decision in the impulse of the moment
so i am glad we are not rushing into it

i realised that many things i have misunderstood
only thought of them in the way i wanted them to be
and not give you the benefit of the doubt
that it shld nt be so complicated
it's jus that i think too much
and make myself stressed out and worry too much

anw derrick jus told me that he wans to book me for kayhian next yr in jan prob for 5 weeks
duno whether shld be happy onot
considering the long hours and the endless work
but i do like the team
cox weiquan is really a good snr
though am kinda sad tt wun b under the leadership of derrick
wondering how it will work out
and plus i duno if we can face each other all day long and not want to pull each other's hair out
maybe that will really prove a real test for us lo

very sian this week
got released from BR
cox the budget constraints
but yet still need to do BR stuff while logging into unassigned
abit not here not there
so not very happy abt it
sighz cant wait for the week to end
i dunwan to get circonded to GA
:(

been eating alot recently
kinda getting worried

i want to go on holiday!
need a break!!

i want taiwan and hk
but no money
and no one to acc me!
and i am lazy to org too!
hahas
:(

wishing upon a star at...|9:24 PM|

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Saturday, May 07, 2011

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sometimes u jus wonder at the immaturity of others
so amazing
oh wells
it's none of my business anw

on a happier note, i am pretty relaxed these days
:)
been doing almost anyth i wan and everyth i wan
eat whatever i wish to etc
hahas
feel that am putting on weight!
cox i keep eating good food!

had client treating us to peach garden
the food was really good!
the peking duck etc
yums!
then alan(my AM) treated us to korean food yest too
but din really like it
hahas
but still am well-fed!
drinking lotsa bubble tea too

i know it ain't gona be smoothsailing all the way
but at least everyth is out in the light now
no more second guessing
we'll jus have to move along and figure out the next step together
jus that there are so many barriers in btw
they may not be so evident now
but i am sure in time to come, they will surface
then maybe by then, i will know his will for me
whether i was wrong

i now know why u say no one will match up to u
i always knew it but jus refused to admit it

wishing upon a star at...|12:22 PM|

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Sunday, May 01, 2011

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i dun like guessing games
i am always too impulsive
so it makes me feel like giving up

wishing upon a star at...|3:15 PM|

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