when i was watching the hk drama last nite
there is this guy that said this to another gal
"It doesn't matter what or how much he has done for you before.
Whether it is due to his pride or his career, he has already made a choice and his decision.
And you can never beat it or win it.
If you persist in it, you will only end up hurting yourself."
food for thought!
sigh
tink tml and fri would have to be in office
despite am on elearning
sudden crop ups
need to amend the error in the FS again
quite a tedious process
considering need to get back copies from HK, EY (tax), M&C(corp sect)
very ma fan
then still to endure some scolding from the typists agn before they will willingly amend n reprint for me
then must rebind and pack nicely again
argh lotsa admin work
boohoo
there goes my self-declared days off again!
terrible day today
the whole day my stomach was aching
in the end went to see the doc
doc says i have high fever + gastric flu + urinary infection
confusing!
:(
tml will be on mc
at least i finally know what is wrong with my tummy
hopefully the pain wun persist anymore after that
am watching tv now...the hk drama on channel u
the male leads were saying "why is it so painful to be serious about someone u love?"
so apt and true in our world today
where eternal love seems to a forsaken concept
parents are worried abt my tummache
cox it's getting qt frequent
hmmm maybe i shld go see a doc?
been helping to prepare slides for a10 training today
other than that, work at office today was pretty chill
and tonight there is Man U VS Chelsea on channel 5!
even though i already noe the score
but still wana catch it on tv
though am abit tired now already
i am on a credit card application spree now
which is really bad!
cox i applied like 5 credit cards in 2 months!
ahhhhh
terrible me
cox i get attracted by all the different benefits they provide
sighz
need to control myself
i am quite excited abt my impending bdae!
okies it's not exactly super soon yet
but am thinking what to do
i am gona be on leave!
but then it's a weekday
doubt anyone will be free
and dun exactly know who will celebrate for me too
i jus hope i wun spend it in a lonely way...
i wan lotsa fun outings!
must create a list of things i wan to do!
hopefully will get to do some of them
1) universal studios
2) sentosa
3) east coast park (cycling/rollerblading)
4) marina barrage/font canning park/bottle tree park (picnic)
5) concert/musical
stomach abit pain pain
:(
stomach upsets getting more and more frequent
always feeling an odd queasiness and like alot of bubbles popping around in my tummy
it occurs especially at night when i am going to sleep and when i wake up in the morning after having breakfast...
weirddd
anw onto a brighter note,
yest nite was fun!
met nana for dinner at a jap restaurant near guardian at citylink
eating jap spagetti with chopsticks is a challenge...
great time catching up with them
it was a tough time trying to gather everyone
so qt happy we finally met up
we're kinda planning to watch wicked and also maybe have an overnight stayover in a singapore hotel one day soon..
hopefully these plans do work out
needa do some research for good deals first
then met muffins for supper!
we went simpang bedok for custard buns, chicken wings n cheese fries and roti john
then off to this hk cafe near ecp
which was really good!
super chillax listening to the chinese live band while sipping on bubble milk tea
hahas
we stayed up till 2 plus...
was dead tired when i reached home abt 3am
we should do it agn!
missed those days where we often go for supper tog...
hahas
somemore had to wake up at 8am this morning..
cox had morning worship then TOP meeting then CEP....
long day
but it was a great discussion on sexual imorality and other church discipline issues
kinda interesting views of what both genders do to avoid temptation....
feeling abit groggy now
like half sleepwalking
but otherwise a fruitful wkend!
那個男人
有個男人愛著你 用心愛著你
那個男人愛著你 徹底愛著你
他情願變成影子 守候著你跟隨著你
那個男人愛著你 心卻在哭泣
還需要多久 多長 多傷
你才會聽見他沒說的話
堅強像謊言一樣 不過是一種偽裝
他只希望有個機會能被你愛上
還需要多久 多長 多渴望
你才會走向他 貼在他的身旁
微笑像謊言一樣 是最起碼的假裝
眼淚只能躲藏
那個男人愛著你 忘記了自己
從此他小心翼翼 靜靜等待愛情
他情願選擇相信 為了你不言不語
那個男人愛著你 傷埋在回憶
不論要多久 多長 多傷
他還是愛著你 一如往常
就好像一個傻瓜 對著那空氣說話
他會不會有個機會能被你愛上
還需要多久 多長 多渴望
你才會走向他 貼在他的身旁
微笑像謊言一樣 是最起碼的假裝
眼淚只能躲藏
那個男人就是我你知道嗎
還是知道卻假裝不知道嗎
問到沙啞 你也不會回答
還需要多久 多長 多傷
你才會聽見我沒說的話
堅強像謊言一樣 不過是一種偽裝
我只希望有個機會能被你愛上
不論要多久 多長 多受傷
我還是愛著你 每分每秒一樣
就好像一個傻瓜 對著那空氣說話
等著被你愛上
this song is so sweet!
i am so tired these days
can't really sleep properly
and keep having tummy discomfort
finally woke up today feeling much more refreshed
happy that no need go to work today!
yays!
elearning is really boring though
yest was a mad rush
last min found a mistake in the FS
then had to delay the sending out of FS to client
got scolded by typists cox they had to amend then rebind all copies of FS
was kept on my toes the entire time
when i reached home, whole body was aching
badly feel like going for a massage
:(
i had to rub some oilment on my legs in the end to soothe the aches
like some old lady liddat
anw cousin's wedding is cancelled
sighzz
long story
but it does leave me feeling more jaded about relationships and marriages than ever
seems like no decent guy can be trusted
even those that look very trustworthy
how come people dun value marriages and commitments highly anymore?
stomachache!
and i duno why it hurts
:(
feels uncomfortable
anw a supposedly relaxing week turns out quite shagged
stayed till 7.30pm at work today
sianz
the entire office qt empty
haix keep getting booked...
mon was ja mitsui
tdy was BR
:(
anw we had uob meeting this morn
seems like lotsa work lined up for us...
yest was great!
lunch with mummy at bishan ambush
then went JB in e afternoon!
:)
it was fun!!
watched cars2 with potato wedges
ate choc cheese crepe + tacho pachi + snow ice!
shopped ard!
buy 3 pairs of pretty earrings for RM15!
ate jap sushi for dinner
a fulfilling day!
bought lotsa chewing gum too....
hehe
let's do it agn soon!
yaysie!
the coming week is elearning week!
so i am gona "legally" not go to work except for mon cox i want to try to catch my mentor to consult him regarding the compliance option thingy, hopefully he'll be ard
and also wed cox will uobkh meeting in the morn
cross my fingers n toes tt no one will looking for me the rest of the week
so i can enjoy my unofficial week of leave!
hehehee
ask me out! cox i am free!
a week of freedom before uobkh officially starts next wk, will there for 2 weeks for interims
tomorrow is mid autumn fest alr!
having cramps today :(
kinda painful....
luckily my TOP meeting was postponed..
wanna curl into a ball on my bed
hey dear,
this is for u
i may have written a card to you separately
but i tink i have more to tell you
esp since i jus read ur blog
when i read ur blog, i felt alittle like crying
cox i feel ur pain and helplessness
yet there is little i can do to relieve ur situation
many a times i feel the same way as u do
i feel jaded, i feel confused
why do marriages end?
how can people who once loved each other deeply turn away from one another in a blink of an eye after their many years of courtship and marriage?
do they still remember the vows they said?
do they still recall the tender touch, the comforting hugs, the passionate kisses and the deep felt love they once gave and had for each other?
do they still hold the precious memories they shared close to their hearts or have they dissipated with time and been replaced with hatred, misunderstandings and unforgiveness?
will mistakes no longer be tolerated and things they once love about each other now become thorns in the flesh?
sometimes i feel stupid too
why i still want to believe that i can be loved and love in return when there is no one who can truely guarantee they can do the same for me all my life?
but remember we have an one true love
a perfect example of love
even when it seems like there is no real life examples of love with so many failed examples ard us
God presented himself as our perfect example
We loved because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
i can never promise that the person u will be with in the future will never disappoint u nor hurt u but please do still believe in love
because i believe that God has someone in mind for each of us
it doesn't mean that if others have not succeeded that u will not succeed in your own
it's a blessing to build up a christian family
and to bring up your own children in the fear and fevor of God
imagine what a sweet smelling incense it would be to our Lord
many of us are afraid of commitment because this world has taught us that nothing lasts forever
but He has proven it wrong
His love is eternal
to be made in his likeness brings us to aspire to be more like him in nature as well
likewise, we should aim to demostrate this love
i can never say i will truely understand how u feel, my dear gal
but i can only promise you that i will pray for u
pray that he will watch over u especially at ur darkest moments
and accompany u during ur needful times
if u need me, please feel free to call
dun be afraid to break down and cry
because letting it all out
is really better than keeping it in all the time
putting up a front all day
so that others may know u're alright is what we always do
it's jus tt we never realise that it doesn't help
because deep inside, we are still wishing someone will reach out and say i care, i really do understand and show that extra love to us
so we end up hurting ourselves
because we expect others to care for us when we dun allow them to come near or know what we are truely thinking
u're really a dear friend to me and a sister of christ that i hold close to my heart
in fact u're there for me for most of the times i need someone to talk to
u've been a great listener esp at times when i need to vent and someone i seek advice from
afterall, we've been frens for 10 years already
and i want to say you have inspired me in certain ways
in recent years, you have made me want to walk closer to God and serve him in more areas esp since i see you happy in the areas u're serving God, in terms of choir, the teaching of students etc in the past, u have made me more motivated to keep my friends close, cox u often write little notes of encouragement to ur frens or prepare gifts for them...
i have seen how God has transformed you and made you a woman of Christ in accordance to his will
how u are willing to sacrifice ur personal time for him and serve him to build up his church
therefore i believe that you can continue to be a vessel for him
where you can be a blessing to the others around u like u have been to me....
i hope that this verse will continue to encourage u because whenever i feel weak, i remember this verse...
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
we are weak but our God is strong
and even through our weaknesses, he can display his power through us
i believe that he will continue to use u to touch others' lives
hence may he be ur pillar of strength during this time
as your comforter and your friend
love ya loads and will keep u in my prayers...
a big hug from me to you...
i remember a while ago i had this outburst at church as well as i had confided in some about my worries about my career
i alwys had no idea what i wanted to do in my career and felt that i never had an option to choose what i really want to do
i always thought i wanted to choose a compliance job in the future
though i have no idea why i have such interest in it
but i know deep within me whenever i do my audit engagements, i always wished i could be given the compliance portion of the audit
now that the opportunity presented itself
it is so sudden and unexpected!
i think God really knows what i am seeking for
i prayed for open doors (in terms of career, relationships, church work etc)
I think he really answers them in his own way and time
in ways i least expected him to
at least now for career and church work, i see His hand in these areas as some new opportunities are presenting themselves
like what i have previously mentioned about the new committess I have joined in church (YAM, ABC, TOP)
and now this opportunity at work has came
i think this option now is a blessing from God and a good chance to try out if this is really suitable for me
in fact it allows me a preview of what to expect in compliance, rather then having to jump straight into the actual job in the future without knowing whether it'll be what i want
however, i feel very skeptical and apprehensive
cox i do not know if it will affect my performance appraisal and portfolio esp since next year is gona be my senior year and my promotion year
to summarise the current situation,
my senior manager has asked 4 of us (2 A11s including myself and 2 senior yr 2s) from my dept whether we would like to take up the option to do regulatory compliance work under my compliance director while doing lesser audit jobs
cox currently my compliance director is working alone and she needs additional help as more jobs require compliance assistance due to the nature of the industry and services they provide
i will still continue to keep my roles in kay hian and BR, jus that i prob have a smaller role to play in them
i will have to stay at least 1 yr in this situation
however i can choose to revert back to full time audit if i dislike the option
at first i was quite worried it's a downward transfer cox recently there are a few people who were forced to transfer to another dept which is apparently a dumping ground as we are currently overstaffed at my dept
but the senior manager and compliance head assured me that it's due to my portfolio that i am chosen due to my exposure to certain clients
Pros:
- allow me more exposure to compliance which i have interest in, allow me to venture into something different
- supposedly a shorter peak period since i will be taking on less audit jobs
- can do less audit jobs which i dislike
- better performance appraisal since i need to impress my compliance director mainly only
- improve my resume since i will be supposedly more specialised, have a niche area
- maybe i will finally find somthing that i like and discover a career that i want
Cons:
- maybe more workload since not enough resources
- possible that my portfolio when i become a senior will be filled with shitty jobs if i decide to discontinue with the option
- will not get to try out a mix of audit jobs, less audit exposure
- maybe worse performance appraisal if my compliance director dislike my work
- more sai gang? might not learn much also
sighz so far after asking around and gathering much opinions
i think i should take a leap of faith
and give myself a chance
i can only pray that interest will continue to motivate me regardless of any repercussions
actually, after considering so long
it seems like it's a very small issue
but then it does worry me so
so please forgive me if i seem to be making a fuss over nothing
it seems coincidental that a while ago, i was reading in the daily bread
about the goodness of work
most christians would feel that work is a curse from God due to the fall of man because of Adam and Eve
but it's a wrong assumption
because
firstly, God himself worked for 6 days to create nature and he declared that it's good
next, even before the fall, God already assigned work to man
which was to rule over all of earth and the animals within
Work is actually a way that God gave us so as to take care of our needs
through work, we can also bear witness in our words and deeds
that others may see a true christian testimony even in the corporate world
then after reading, i prayed that i may do my best at work and bring honour to His name through my words and deeds
to destress today, i went on a grocery shopping spree!
bought choc crossiants for breakfast, habibo gummies for colleagues to share,
my must-buy Jack n Jill BBQ potato chips, Cheezels, Roller Coaster as well as Kinder Bueno!
oh man!
been thinking and worrying alot since i heard about the news yesterday
so i need to buy comfort food!
bad habits never die
was quite irritated with my church elder also
because he invited me to join the TOP committee previously
and he assigned me a task of searching for SLA successful bids and computing & doing up an analysis of the prices per sq feet for the land
which i could not find the relevant info when i searched the SLA website
i smsed him for help to send the link or the softcopy info
he din reply for qt a while
then when i emailed him,
he replied with the info attached, saying "It's so simple to obtain the information from the website......etc"
he is implying that i am dumb lo
i am not putting enough effort to search for them
HELLO? i am the one helping out here can
volunteering my services to assist you and faciliate you
when he asked if i could help out in the committee
he still tell me dun worry, if i have any problems, he will help out
tsktsk
he now acts as if i owe him anyth liddat
i am the one taking time out of my work schedule to rush out sth for u
arghhhh
if not for the fact
that i convinced myself that I am doing this for Christ, and not for him
I would have flared up and say i refuse to help
but this verse popped up in my head
and i decided to refrain from acting rashly
Galatians 1:10
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
yays finally managed to get into H&M today!!
happies!
i tink i would not have gotten anything if not for my patient companion
:)
hahas cox i see all the clothes strewn everywhere and the mass of people
i already feel like heading towards the door already
but then my patient companion persuaded me otherwise
so managed to search through the piles and got 1 top and 1 skirt!
yaysie!
finally got to shop at the long-anticpated place!
hehehehe
then got 2 basic spagetti tops from F21 too!
a girl can really never have enuff clothes!
there is still so much i want to buy!
so much for my supposedly curbing of expenditure!
hahahahs
lots of things cropped up today at work though
sighz
silly IT and my senior driving me mad
i dun feel like going back to work tomorrow!
wish everyday is like today
can shop till i drop!
La la la-la la la, Sing a happy song. La la la-la la la, Smurf the whole day long.
the song is stuck in my head
hehehe
YAYS!
finally got to watch smurf after work today with my pet and ping ping!
it's esp fun to watch with 2 cute friends
hahas cox when they laugh, u feel like laughing too
and the show is really nice!
the smurfs are awfully cute!
i want a smurf hug too!!
and it's so sweet to say "i smurf u!"
the new cafe huggs is opened at 29th floor pantry today!
so got this opening promo: a free coffee/tea for every food purchase
hehe we went there for lunch!
i am bcuming piggish
after having breakfast, i feel hungry
after having lunch, i also feel hungry
anw work was quite sian today
cox got caught after lunch to go this new client's place to photocopy all afternoon long
boring
but then i realised japanese clients are really polite
my client gave me cold japanese green tea to drink
hehe
clumsy me!
my foot hurts now
cox i clamped my foot when i tried to close the cab door
so i tink my foot now got blue black or rather feels like one
feels quite sore at the part when the door slammed it
quite stupid actually
it was quite obvious that it was gona close onto my foot but i still closed the door anw
so dumb
sighzz
a break given to myself today!
watched glee 3d concert and ate kenny rogers
shopped at expo sales! both borders and john little!
satisfying day!
:)
giving in my insatiable fetish for stocking up of facial and make up products...
cox i can't buy anymore bags and clothes for now
so ended up trying to spend in other areas to satisy my retail therapy needs
hahas
supposed to try to curb my spending so as to replenish my depleting account balance due to the Europe expenditure but i dun tink i am succeeding
end up spending more on food and other material things
hehehe
wkend will be a mad rush!
sat gona meet aug batch peeps
night picnic at barrage!
sun starts with church in the morn,
then gona meet christine n juliana for lunch,
nana for tea
then family dinner!
H&M opens tomorrow!
woohoo!
need to jio ppl to shop with me one day!
i wan watch smurfs!
the cute little blue elves! :)
oh yea yest nite went mortons' bar with colleagues
the steak sandwiches and martinis were good!
yums
then watched FD5 with muffins!
it's gross and gory
but okies la i survived!
If I turn back time...
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